A Beautiful portrait

My beautiful Mother. 

While looking through pictures to scrapbook my daughter's life, I came across pictures of my family.  I have very few pictures of my mom, and am always seeking to connect any way I can to her.  If anyone has pictures of her, I would love to have copies.  Or, any pictures of my childhood.  The few pictures I have of me were before my mom passed away.  Then there just isn't much of anything.

     As I scrapbook my childrens lives, I've come to discover the downside of having my girls so young in my life as there are so few baby pictures I have of them.  However, I realize now why photographs and scrapbooking is so very important to me.  It's all you have when you lose someone so important, and you want to remember and feel what your worth was to someone such as my mom.

I restored this picture as best I could trying to capture my mother's beauty hidden by water marks on the original copy.  Although I am far from a professional, I sure did enjoy every detail of her beautiful face while touching it up.

Here is the "before" picture.

As always, thank you for visiting and sharing in this journey.



I have purpose

     When I decided to blog exerts of my life, I knew it was going to be a tough journey.  My motive was to paint as clear a picture as possible challenging myself to face it all head on, without fear.  Of course the journal entries of my life take me back in time, and it's not as easy as I thought it would be.   I struggle to paint vivid pictures with each entry, as some of these entries just need to "get out" so I can "get on".

     My mother's day entry has been my most difficult to write.  So many emotions surfaced, and although I recognized a lot of them, some I didn't know I had, and some I had to immediately surrender to God once the entry was finished.  I am committed to see this through even if I'm faced with reliving those hurtful times and places in my life.
I thank God for the strength to face my darkest days.  Thankfully I know how my story unfolds or I don't believe I would ever be able to face such pain.

Family Blessings

I take this time to breath in the smell of briquettes as my husband lights the grill for dinner.  What a wonderful beginning to the aroma that is to follow as the marinated meat permeates our home.  The sun is shining, the temperature is a bit warm, and all of my children have gathered to be with us on this day.  If I could bottle up these moments and place them in pretty snow globes I would have quite a marvelous collection.
For every grieving moment, I have ten fold of wonderful memories with each of my girls as well as my husband.
Today we sat down to watch The Chronicles of Narnia "The voyage of the dawn treader."  A wonderful movie depicting a journey of young children as they grow into adults while they follow the leadership of Aslan who represents Christ.  My favorite of the series to date.  My journey could be summed up with this movie as it's example.
Once the movie is over, dinner begins as do the many jokes we toss back and forth one to another.  My girls are free to express themselves, be themselves, yet represent themselves respectfully while having fun.  I couldn't be more proud, more thankful than I am right now for the beautiful ladies they have become.

I chuckle as I watch Amanda and Jason compete over a cell phone game, recognizing that competitive side in me when it comes to games with Michael.  (A silly yet proud tear fills my eye...j/k)  Their marriage reminds me of my own as I witness their love and silly antics between one another.  I'm so happy Amanda is happy, and happy Michael has a son.  Jason may not be a jack of all trades, yet he is good to my daughter, and a fun son to have in our family.  We love that they love each other, and it shows every time we're around them.

Alexandra brings such laughter and silliness to our family with her quick whit.  She holds her head high with her recent break up from a long time boyfriend.  What an honor to hear her "thank me" when I encourage some of the steps she takes through this painful process.  What a privilege to sense her trust in my words of advice learned from my own heart breaking experience.   There is never a boring moment with her around and I look forward to unfolding life.

Alicia is my reminder of innocence and purity in so many ways.  When she feels frustrated over her innocence, I gently remind her what a wonderful blessing she has that most girls her age have unfortunately lost.  This isn't meant in one specific way, but the innocence from the gunk in this world.  Things our children really don't need to know at this point.  How wonderful to watch her enjoy her childhood, embrace her innocence.  While stubborn at heart, Alicia has yet to defy our rules.  She is most determined to be different from others, and I admire her strength in this.

Since I met Michael, I knew we had a strong and unique bond.  He's been more than my best friend, he has been my gift from God.  Sure, we married very young, but what a blessing it was to grow up with my best friend and my husband.  We talk about everything, hold back nothing, and help hold one another up through every trial.  If I should place him too high on a pedestal, God is sure to smack me back into reality of who my God really is, and he's not my husband.  All the same, I am most thankful for our marriage, the life and love we have built between us.

God is so good, and I am in awe of His Majesty.  He brings me to my knees when I survey the wonderful family I've been blessed with.

Ut oh, I smell something burning  : D   hehe