I can't say preparing ourselves for the first meeting was enjoyable as our nerves were heightened as well as alerted to the insanity this challenge poses in our lives. Michael and I were both on edge leading up to yesterday's meeting up until the doorbell rang and Judy sat down to explain the freedoms we will have should we become Foster parents/ adopting Foster children.
What stood out and most surprisingly so is the fact there are so many Foster placing agencies in the state of Kansas alone. And, we can switch to any agency should WE, as potential Foster parents, decide we are unhappy with this agency. Personally I was impressed with the idea of this as I recognize the sacrifice that will be made for us to serve our lives and help other parents reunite with their own children. While my strongest conviction is to protect a child, I like the idea these agencies are also held accountable to find decent homes that will support and protect children first and foremost. And, should we discover this agency is just shoving a child into any random home, we will have the freedom to go to another agency. Accountability I fully support given the experience I had in one of my foster homes. Which I was unashamed to inquire if this agency places 'appropriate aged children' with 'appropriate aged adults'? Judy knew exactly what I meant while Michael tilted his head in curiosity to the purpose of my question.
There is no skirting around my own experience as a foster child while interviewing Judy. There was no sound reason for the state of Nebraska to ever place me in the care of young parents who had two young children. I was the youngest of four older brothers in my birth family and they placed me in the care that set me as the oldest child in the 'Piles' home. The Piles were not prepared to have a teenager when the foster mom was just a young 28 years old. OOOOHHH the fire that just boils at the thought of Nebraska's incompetent welfare system....sorry, "refocus Tracy."
It was good to know that per Miss Judy, they take serious the position they have to place children in appropriate 'age differential' homes. Which is very important to me as anyone reading this can see.
When Miss Judy asked what we were most interested in, Michael and I both looked at one another with united eyes that have two very different views at this point going regarding a Foster Family role. Judy didn't seem surprised in the least, and frankly, Michael and I know God has come through for us whenever we aren't on the same page.
"I am interested in adopting foster children" I uttered in confidence as I responded to Judy. Judy said the agency has needs for every role.
I quickly explained my experience as a foster child and why my heart is geared more towards adoption.
Being a foster child is the crappiest feeling ever. While my stay with Bev was not a "foster home" in label, the abandoned feeling was the same. (Even if I can see all the blessings and protection God had for me through all my experiences) The fact remains, my dad abandoned me, didn't know what to do with me, and left me in the hands of a perfect stranger half way across the country. "Who does that?" are the thoughts that go through my head of course. And yes, I loved my biological dad no matter how dead beat of a dad he was. Oh yes, he was too. It's the truth, my dad was a lost puppy without my mom keeping him in line......leaving me to feel that abandoned feeling I am sure every foster child feels.
Ending up in a foster home at age 15 was in many ways my own fault for leaving my dads home and being gone for an entire week. Yet, HELLOOOO????, my dad doesn't even call the police?? again, who does that?? I sit here and chuckle because truly, if my child didn't show up the first night, the police would be called. We were gone 7 whole days and the police happened to find us randomly at someones house. Not even there looking for us but another gal ratting our presence out. Hindsight I see my stupid rebellious decisions played such a huge role in the foster home situation. Maybe God oversaw this event to set in motion the plans he's had for my life all along. What a comforting thought to know God knew all that would happen and the result that would come from the events I experienced.
For Michael, his upbringing was far different. Living in a strict Religious home with both parents having an influence in his upbringing. I know he struggles to see outside of our happy little home life, but in the beginning I heard all about his hurts and pains he walked away with as he understood his childhood to be. Now, as we are older and wiser, it's easier for me to see how young adult children can have such a skewed view of their childhood. I know Michael's parents did the best they could and loved their children. No parent is perfect, but he is so very lucky to have both his parents alive and well and can see them once or twice a year. Michael and I have one common experience in our upbringing...we both moved around....a lot...both of us found it difficult to call anyplace specifically 'home.' Therefore, living in Kansas City has become our "home" for us, and for our children. We both agree how this provided a great sense of security for both of us as a couple and collectively as a family. While I am sick of living in the city, I love Kansas City and this is our home and has been for nearly 22 years.
(*shaking off my detoured thoughts) Judy explained to us how we can offer our home to a child where we can best serve their needs with our individual and unified abilities to provide for their needs.
In her explanation, we could see more clearly how this process didn't seem as scary as other's perceive it to be in the big picture so many view Fostering a child to be.
She toured our home and pointed out medicines would have to be locked up and all chemicals must be place on a shelf that is at least six feet high. "Dang, we have a lot of cleaning chemicals, paint, hair peroxide for my business, and many other strong chemicals I personally have overlooked." Our work is cut out for us to prepare our home for Foster children. An opportunity to organize our home is how I processed this abundance of information.
Oh, I nearly forgot the huge book she left and explained we had 86 pages to read and paperwork to fill out before Thursday, giving us 5 days to complete this task.
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